As a child growing up, I remember having to move every single year because of my father’s lion of work. At least once or twice, despite making friends at school or around the neighborhood, I would be forced to say goodbye and cut ties. I dealt with this emotionally traumatic set of circumstances all throughout my childhood. That is...until I turned 16, found myself in High School and said that’s enough. We had finally stayed in the same house for three years, and when I received that familiar bit of news from my dad, I put my foot down and developed a tantrum. After a long session of negotiations, they agreed to letting me stay in the house and pay rent on my own while the family moved away. Bad move (pun not intended). Alone and vulnerable, I found myself quickly with the wrong crowds.
Later in life, I found myself getting into drugs, through the heavy use of alcohol. I could not sustain my life, let alone a job. I ended up later joining a crowd that followed the Grateful Dead around the country. I thought I was living the good life. No responsibilities, all the friends, and the resources, and all the drugs and partying. However, when all of this came to a screeching halt with the death of Jerry Garcia. All of my friends when back to their parents houses, and continued to have the life that they all wanted. My experience was not this. My parents wanted nothing to do with me after all that I had done in my life (or rather what I didn't do), and decided to enact “tough love”. I had no where to go.
I discovered an abandoned shack in the woods and decided to relay on my ability to camp for a living. I would see my friends a few blocks away at the local starbucks, hanging out and talking it up. Their parents gave them plenty of money (this was Marin County, after all). I came of my hillside every day to see them and nothing to show for. I started getting food stamps, but started trading them in for alcohol and pot. I was the only homeless kid in our group. None of them could help me out. Their parents would not allow it. Some of them, however, would venture into the woods to my shack to bring me food from their house on occasion.
Eventually, I met a girl in the Narcotics Anonymous program. She soon became my girlfriend, and I began “supporting her” by attending NA meetings with her. Eventually, I realized I needed them too. Well, that girl later cheated on me, and I met another in the NA fellowship. Almost 20 years later, I am still with her. When I met her, she was homeless too. We couch surfed alot at the beginning while attending our meetings, and eventually checked ourselves into the local homeless shelter. I new larger facility had just been built, and we eventually qualified ourselves for the transfer. Through that facility, they taught us to be responsible, to stay clean, and how to get jobs and our first apartment. We had our first child a year later.
Today, she is testing for her third degree Black Belt in Mixed Martial Arts, and is a Senior Airman in the USAF Reserves. I have spent 20+ years managing retail operations, with one store being a quarter of a million dollar operation. I have homeschooled my children, and have loved my wife fiercely. We still struggle month to month, but we know we are blessed beyond measure. At least I know I am.
I could not possibly have this life without God’s good grace, and without the incredible men and women...volunteers of Mill Street, San Rafael, Ca. and Homeward Bound of Novato, Ca. I could not have made it without those who came before me in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.
I would have possibly continued to live the homeless life. I would have never met the woman I love today. I would never have the children I am blessed with today. Perhaps I would not even be here in this moment to write this at all.
I do not take lightly those who have come in and out of my life and my world. Everyone and everything has made me who I am today. They have shaped not only who I am today, but my whole world.
So as you can see...I have many reasons why I am getting behind an organization such as Shawls4Shelters.org. Any opportunity to reach out and touch a life, is an opportunity worth living for, and worth dying for. Living the homeless life was very painful and lonely. It was nothing short of absolute depression and misery...even when at times I tried to convince myself that I loved my life and wouldn't change a thing. The tears and cries coming from the darkness of that lonely shack on a hill accused me of those lies every night. No man, woman...or child....should ever have to live that way. Many do not know that there is another way. It is incumbent upon all of us to spread this gospel of hope and love to all who live apart from the rest of us.
- Jay Jeter (aka, MineMaster General)
Member and Director of website development at Shawls4Shelters Nonprofit Foundation